rant

Dear disgruntled Wal-mart customers,
            I promise I did not pack a buggy full of groceries, cleaners, office supplies and diapers to personally inconvenience you on your Friday night. My goal was not to make you have to wait in line for an extended length of time. Yes I did hear you make ugly comments about my buggy full of items. And yes, your groans and exaggerated sighs with full on shoulder action did not go unnoticed. I am glad you could fling your buggy around and dramatically head off to another line that was better suited to your amount of items. Thank goodness you could escape me and my big huge load. I also found it precious that your pre-teen kept poking my groceries on the conveyor belt and commenting on my choices of 'disgusting' food and that it was the most stuff he had ever seen. I mean, wow. I found it awesome that you encouraged him to in his efforts to make fun of another patron's food in full ear shot of said patron. I am glad you and your husband could have your little laugh and private joke with your kid. I am also  really glad that you kept staring at me and making comments to other customers in your new, shorter line
            I am above all thankful that I did not come unglued and unleash a string of profanity and exaggerated hand gestures of my own. Believe me: I did NOT want to be at Wal-mart (spawn of Satan himself) on a Friday night spending $255.68 freaking dollars and heave it all on the conveyor belt and then heave it all in my car and then unload it at home. For your information, in the parking lot before this god-forsaken grocery shopping trip even started, I seriously thought about pulling off my pinkie toenail in a scary pact with the devil if I could somehow escape the impending torture. But no. I put on my happy face, and trudged on so my family could have milk, bread and Angry Birds fruit snacks.

Yours truly,
The lady in Wal-mart with the ginormous load of groceries in aisle 21